By: Kaitlyn Walker
American politics has always been defined by sex. This is not to say that the American system is inherently corrupt; sex has played a role in the politics of all civilizations. From Caesar, who consented to an alliance with ancient Egypt out of lust for Queen Cleopatra, to Louis XIV, who allowed his personal prostitutes to determine which citizens could be present at court, sex has effectively shaped the political “haves” and “have nots” for centuries. Does the omnipresence of sex in politics mean that Americans should accept some amount of sexual deviancy in their political candidates? The answer is far from simple. There is a tendency amongst Americans to ascribe unreasonable amounts of idolatry to politicians. Often times, we hold them to standards of perfectionism we ourselves do not adhere to. Although they are responsible for running the country, there is no inherent need for politicians to be moral dynamos, at least in terms of sex. Certainly no one would advocate electing amoral politicians, but there is a distinction between different moral ideals. For example, while being dishonest is both a moral hazard and a political hazard, overt sexuality is at best only a moral hazard. Dishonesty may cause politicians to do their jobs less effectively because they may launder money or fix elections. The same cannot be said for politicians who engage in sexual acts; unless they are engaging in sexual activities while at work, there is no reason their sexual conduct would interfere with their ability to make intelligent political decisions.
I am neither arguing that politicians should engage in sexual acts unreservedly nor that there are no concerns with allowing politicians to approach sex more casually. Rather, I am calling on American citizens to re-evaluate their expectations. Holding humans, inherently flawed creatures, to ideals aligned with godliness is a strategy that is and will continue to be a failure. What is more shocking about America than the number of politicians who are caught sending sexts or naked photos is the unfailing reaction of surprise by its citizens each time a new scandal occurs. Each scandal, be it as severe as the Clinton scandal, or as minor as the Anthony Weiner scandal, is met with the same call to rally the pitchforks by the media and the public. Reacting with this level of severity every time a new scandal breaks diminishes the ability of the public to look objectively at a scandal and evaluate its true level of severity. In response to this inability of the public at large to remain objective when evaluating sex scandals, I have devised a scale designed to measure the severity of current and future scandals.
Basic Assumptions and Workings of the Walker Scale
The purpose of the Walker scale is to serve as an objective scale that can be used to score the severity of sex scandals. There is only one qualification: the person who is being ranked is either a politician or a figure who wields political power. In no way will this scale be applicable to athletes or actors because the acts for which a person could receive points on the scale are tied to holding office.
The Walker scale is theoretically infinite-this is because a person has an infinite capacity to commit sexual “transgression,” all of which would be assigned a point value. The various sexual misdeeds are each given a value of 0, 0.25, 0.5, 0.75, or 1, with one being highly nefarious and zero being negligibly nefarious. In an effort to give the scale some kind of tangible end, Caligula, the Roman Emperor, serves as infinity, representing the pinnacle of political debauchery.
The Thirteen Transgressions
There are fifteen broad categories for which the political figure in question will be ranked:
1. Prostitution
Prostitution is illegal, and so a political figure being involved in some way with prostitutes is one of the few ways in which sex could interfere with a politician’s ability to do his job. Since a politician seeks to make laws or carry them out to some extent, involving himself in this illegal activity negates his function in society. Being involved in some way with prostitution include:
A. Paying for services from a prostitute
B. Running or financially supporting a prostitution ring
Point Value: 0.75
2. Using Your Position to Acquire Sex and possibly Covering it Up
Being a political figure generally affords opportunities to both obtain sex and cover up sexual activities because of the amount of resources political figures have at their disposal that ordinary citizens do not. The second portion of the category, using one’s status as a political figure to cover up a scandal, is generally more severe because there is an implication that government resources are aiding in the cover up. Acts that would warrant points in this category include:
A. Using campaign funding to acquire sex
B. Using campaign funding to hide a sexual misdeed
C. Requiring a subordinate to cover up a sexual misdeed
D. Diverting funds from a philanthropic or political organization to obtain sex
Point Value: 0.75
3. Sexual Relations with Youth
This category does not address rape, but rather refers to situations in which political figures would engage in sexual relations with a younger member of their staff, such as an intern or a page. Engaging in sexual relations with someone less than ten years younger is not assigned a point value. At the 10 year mark, 0.5 points are awarded. The ten year difference was chosen as a landmark because 10 years old is the earliest age, in general, that a person will go through puberty, and is an adolescent rather than a child. The idea is that if the political figure would have entered a new phase of life, adolescence, while the younger partner was still a child, they exist in a distinct generational gap, and would not ordinarily mate. Sexual relations with youth include:
A. Sexual relations with an intern
B. Sexual relations with a page
C. Sending explicit content to an intern
D. Sending explicit content to a pageFor each subsequent decade they are separated by, the scale adds 0.5 points. For instance, if the age difference was 30 years, the political figure will get a point value of 1.5 added to his total score.
Point Value: 0.5(X)
4. Extra-Marital Affairs
If a political figure is married and has extramarital sexual relations, he is in violation of both civil law and divine law. Extramarital relations include:
A. Sexual relations of any kind with a non-spouse
B. Sending explicit content of any kind with a non-spouse
The point value is derived from the two different kinds of laws being broken in this instance. Breaking civil law has a point value of 0.5, and breaking divine law has a point value of 0.5 for a combined total of 1 point. If the political figure was not married in a religious ceremony, he should only be awarded 0.5 points for extramarital sex.
Point Value: 0.5-1
5. Multiple People Cheated With
This category is a subset of the marriage category, but is specifically designed to address repeat offenders. Multiple people cheated with include:
A. Two or more persons with whom a political figure has committed sexual acts with
B. Two or more persons with whom a political figure has sent sexually explicit content to
For each additional person a political figure has been confirmed to have an affair with, 1 point should be added to his score. In addition to confirmed infidelity, there are often instances in which rumored affairs are pinned to politicians. While it would be unfair to award 1 point for each rumored affair, political figures’ propensity to lie to protect their image warrants 0.25 points per rumored affair, as these rumors often develop into confirmations later. The only stipulation here is that a rumored affair must be tied to a specific person, it cannot be based on conjecture on infidelity in the abstract.
Point Value: 0.25-1
6. Children
Committing sexually deviant acts when responsible for a child or children should be treated with more severity than simply committing them while single or married because a political leader who is a parent is responsible for the well being of a child. Extramarital sexual acts would not be limited to the individual political leader; these acts could have psychological ramifications on the children. Having children constitutes:
A. Children that are biologically the children of the political figures
B. Children that are adopted or legally under the guardianship of the political figure
C. Unborn children (If the political figure knows their spouse to be pregnant)
Unborn children are factored into the point system because the political figure has knowledge that they will be responsible for a child within 9 months, and the child in question does technically exist despite being literally unborn. For each child the political figure has, 1 point should be added to his total score.
Point Value: 1(X)
7. Breaking Non Sex-Related Laws as a Result of Committing a Sexual Act
This category is most applicable in the aftermath of a political figure committing a sexual act. Breaking a non sex-related law includes:A. Lying to a court about sexual interactions
B. Being linked to a criminal act of a sexual partner i.e. a prostitution ring of drug business
C. Having knowledge of illegal activities conducted by a sexual partner and failing to hold them accountable
D. Being linked to the disappearance, murder, or assault of a sexual partner
E. Being convicted of or charged with a felony
Point Value: 1
8. Denial of Allegations
Denying allegations of sexual misconduct is something of a knee-jerk reaction for political figures, and is less severe than other offenses because it is merely an attempt to uphold their public images. Denial includes:
A. Refusing to comment on whether or not a political figure perpetrated a sexual act
B. Claiming allegations of sexual misconduct to be rumor and then later confessing
C. Claiming photographic or video evidence is falsified or does not belong to the political figure in question
Point Value: 0.25
9. Presidential Clause
Presidents have three intelligence managing institutions at their disposal: The CIA, The FBI, and the Secret Service. Since Presidents have by far the best means to filter what information about themselves is leaked, a president who still fails to keep sexual deeds private should be awarded 0.25 points since failure to maintain secrecy was certainly not due to a lack of resources. The presidential clause is applicable:
A. Only during the years a politician served as president (i.e. any scandals they engage in post-presidency are not awarded points)
B. Being caught in a sexual act in office
C. Text, photographic, video evidence being leaked to the media or public
Point Value: 0.25
10. Text, Photographic, or Video Evidence
Since the world is interconnected, political figures, like ordinary citizens, are acutely aware that any sexually explicit text messages, photos, or videos have the potential to be transferred instantaneously. This category is given a more severe point value because blatantly documenting a sexual act is irresponsible given the level of societal information sharing. Text, photographic, or video evidence includes:
A. Sexually explicit photographs sent by the political figure
B. Sexually explicit photographs being requested by the political figure
C. Sexually explicit photographs being received by the political figure with his consent
D. Sexually explicit videos made by the political figure that feature him
E. Sexually explicit text messages being sent by the political figure
F. Sexually explicit text messages being received by the political figure
It is important to note that this in no way connotes pornographic films purchased by the political figure, as purchasing pornography is legal for adults aged 18 and older.
Point Value: 0.75
11. Fathering Illegitimate Children
Any children resulting from an extra-marital affair qualify a political figure for points in this category. For each illegitimate child, 1 point is awarded, and each rumored illegitimate child that has not been genetically confirmed to belong to the political figure adds 0.25 points to the political figure’s total score.
Point Value: 0.25-1
12. Diverting Government Funds to Commit or Cover Up Sexual Acts
Any action that directly results in a political figure using governmental funds or campaign funds to engage in or cover up a sexual act falls into this category. Diverting funding constitutes:
A. Using campaign funds to buy prostitutes
B. Using campaign funds to bribe people to buy silence about sexual misconduct
C. Using governmental funds to buy prostitutes
D. Using governmental funds to buy silence about sexual misconduct
Point Value: 1
13. Rape or Using Political Office to Force Intercourse
This is certainly the most severe and subjective category of sexual misdeeds. Actually committing rape affords a political figure 1 point on to their total score, and any allegations that a political figure has committed rape afford him 0.25 points. Accusations of rape are not given the same point value because false accusations of rape are possible, and assigning truth to rumors about an issue as serious as rape is dangerous. Rape or misusing political office for intercourse includes:
A. Threatening members of staff if they refuse to engage in intercourse
B. Threatening members of staff if they refuse to send sexually explicit media
C. Engaging in intercourse with a minor
D. Sending sexually explicit media to a minor
E. Requesting sexually explicit media from a minor
F. Rape of any kind
Point Value: 0.25-1
Ten Troublemakers
| Name | Sex Profile | Total Points |
| John Edwards
Setting a 20th century Walker Scale high score |
1. Married2. 5 Children3. Diverting Government Funds
4. Video Evidence 5. Initial Denial 6. 6 Felony Charges 7. 1 Illegitimate Child |
15 |
| Bill Clinton
Despite all its press, only managed a 10.5 on the Walker Scale |
1. Using Position to Cover Sex Up2. Sex with Substantially Younger Woman3. Married
4. Perjury 5. Initial Denial 6. President Caught 7. Rape and Accused Rape 8. 1 Child |
10.5 |
| John F. Kennedy
JFK is so cool, we are willing to let Marilyn Monroe slide |
1. Using Position to Cover Sex Up2. Married3. 5 Confirmed Affairs
4. Paid Prostitutes 5. 4 Children 6. President Caught 7. Rumored Illegitimate Child 8. Used Position to Obtain Sex |
10 |
| Martin Luther King, Jr.
Though he died before his dream was fulfilled, he did manage a fantasy |
1. Paid Prostitutes2. Used Position to Obtain Sex3. Married
4. 2 Confirmed Affairs 5. 4 Children 6. Used SCLC Funding for Purchasing Sex |
9 |
| Thomas Jefferson
A father of more than just the country |
1. Married2. 5 Children3. President caught
4. Illegitimate child |
7.25 |
| Gary Condit
But who could resist that smile… |
1. Taking Advantage of Subordinates2. Sex with Substantially Younger Woman3. Married
4. Rumored Link to Sexual Partner’s disappearance 5. 2 Confirmed Affairs 6. Initial Denial |
6.5 |
| Anthony Weiner
His last name almost earned itself a new Walker Scale category |
1. Married2. Sent Sexual Media to Two Substantially Younger Women3. 1 Unborn Child
4. Initial Denial 5. Sent Sexually Explicit Media to 6 Women 6. Text and Photographic Evidence |
5 |
| Barney Frank
His tied ranking with Foley is the only thing they have in common |
1. Paid Prostitutes2. Breaking Non-Sexual Laws-Aware of Sexual Partner’s Prostitution Ring | 1.75 |
| Mark Foley
Just your run-of-the-mill variety sex scandal |
1. Using Position to Obtain Sex2. Requesting Sexually Explicit Media from a Substantially Younger Man3. Text Evidence
4. Rumor of Rape |
1.75 |
| Jack Ryan
He claims his scandal was politics at a new low, the Walker Scale agrees |
1. Asked Wife to Have Sex in Public Places While Others Watched. | 0 |
Have political figures become more scandal-prone with time? It is telling that three of the top five scoring figures saw the height of their political power fifty or more years ago. While this trend does not prove that sexual deviancy has become less severe in recent history, it demonstrates that in politics, sexual transgressions, like diamonds, are forever.